My Leadership Journey

So what happened in my leadership journey?

Where does one journey end and the next one begin?
At what point do we start calling a tad pole a frog?
When is flower no longer and a berry begun?
And at one moment in Pacific Standard Time do we say fall is over and winter is here?

Turnings and transformations
(no offence to carbon)
Are the true building blocks of life.
And as such, will always hold secrets and mysteries that defy our explanations, categorizations, elucidations, pontifications.

So what happened on my leadership journey? Tadpole or frog, flower or berry?
Fall or Winter?

Long ago a seed was planted in the ground…
Not some ‘Round-up Ready’ GMO seed,
Not some cultivar chosen for a characteristic that would be particularly pleasing or of service,
But this was a genuine wild seed,
From the wisdom and lineage of the unbridled earth

And it waited in the darkness.
And maybe there was wisdom in the seed to know when the time was right to open,
Or maybe spirit called to the seed, and gently pulled it forth
Or maybe the seed was just tired of waiting around in the dark.
But it opened. It sprouted.
It’s making its way through the darkness of the soil with its pioneering green arm,
Fueled by the bursting energy inside the seed
Reaching for the light of the nourishing sun
The sun that gives life to everything on this earth

So what happened in my leadership journey?
Sits and journaling, buddy check-ins and commitments, ideal scenes and class projects were like compost tea.
Edges were the small rocks carefully placed in the soil,
That first seemed like barriers,
But later were valued for collecting nourishing water that was dripped down to the awakening seed, fueling its growth.

The thing about seeds is once they crack open, there is no putting them back inside.
They are destined to grow according to their nature, powerfully encoded in DNA that’s shaped by millenniums of living in mother nature’s rhythms and patterns.
Even if a rock gets in the way of that sprout, or a leaf gets nibbled by a snail, the plant’s inner resources will guide it through healthy development.
That knowledge of how to grow and thrive is always there inside.

So what happened in my leadership journey?
I set out to garden my intuition, my other ways of knowing
And I got side tracked on creating plan to garden wellness for others
Now, was the seed sidetracked around that carefully placed rock?
I know better than that now.
My sidetracking was my green arm, moving around obstacles
And through that movement I’ve found myself more acutely aware of the voice of my own DNA,
My own inner knowledge,
Of how to grow and thrive in the world
And I am more committed than ever to tuning in,
Whatever edges or obstacles it should bring.
Just like that sprouted seed, there’s no going back inside now.

So, what does primal encoding hold for my future?
As a sprout I’m learning about being a sprout.
With more sunshine and rain and the help of compost tea elders and friends, I will discover how my stalk grows into braches or flowers or fruits.

But can a recovering Type A human like me, cultivated under the greenhouse walls of our fast paced, logic driven culture, rest my planning and plotting brain long enough to develop a deeply rooted relationship with my intuition?

What about my fear of nature’s unbridled growth?
What about that growing tadpole that is losing its old, familiar way of moving around the pond, having to figure out what to do with those new growing appendages?

I look towards the great walnut tree near my sit spot, and I am inspired by how it’s trunk holds steady, gracefully holding its ground as the wind moves it branches and the scrub jays jump for attention on its limbs,
Its deep roots of nourishment holding it steady on the earth with patience and strength…

I look towards the great live oak on our west ridge, shaped by the sun and the wind into the form of a loving open palm of mother earth herself, a palm where I can sit and be held with care and love and hold my own heart with that same care and love…

I look towards the pace of nature’s timeline
And I breathe,
And I remind myself again of the pace of nature’s timeline
And again I breathe.

I look towards my friends, my family, elders, all of you, as foliar sprays rich in nourishment and encouragement of my growth and celebration of what comes forth

So, in the end, I can’t tell you the exact moment when Fall turns to Winter, but I can tell you that this winter is already feeling like Spring.

And I can also say,
When the rose bud breaks into a blossom so full, busting open layers upon layers
Or when the snake sheds its scaly grey skin to reveal its brilliant new colors
Or when the caterpillar crawls its way out of a cocoon with its fragile new wings
Or when two pairs of lips move close enough to make that touch into a kiss
Or when heavy rains bring forth a new carpet of glistening green life
Or when the full moon rises and breaks the darkness with its silvery blue light

It’s like the sprouting of a new seed
It’s when my heart opens fully to life